I need to figure this shit out - I'm kind of feeling numb and in limbo. I think my thoughts of western society are changing - not sure I like what I see. I like that I have choices. I can't imagine not having that. The thought makes me not breath. I've never thought this country was the best, but I've never thought ill will of it (okay maybe 8 years of Bush), but even then I thrived. I'm told that California is a state of "cold" people. People that don't care about community or family. It is kind of true - and I like it - but I wonder how I would like it if I knew differently.

I'm struggling....with my own fate.....