Where to start - I've had more emotions in the last week than I have in a full year. Laughed a lot - cried a little - and learned nothing....
Family is weird. The wedding wasn't real - it was like we were all in a bad dream. It didn't feel loving. I was a slave not a sister. I was barked at...we weren't told anything...it was a mess....I lost it right before the wedding was going to start...waiting to connect to a sister that was going to make a big decision. We weren't part of anything. We didn't feel like a family. I told the soon to be new sister-in-law, that this is not a Phillips gathering. This is not our family and this is not how we get together. None of us wanted to be there. I'm glad I went, but I didn't want to be there. Anyway - my other sister's and my bro and his new instant family came over to the house for beer and venting....several hours later, and finally at 1 am people (except my sister) left... it was nice - I love my family. I love how we can be mad one minute and laugh our asses off the next. Hilary never could do that. Everything was personal. I want to punch her, and not ever make contact again, if I did - it would be cruel. I can't be cruel....I will talk to her again, but I WILL NEVER TRY AND GET CLOSE. It will be polite (unless she says something about us not helping her), and cordial. She and her new husband will always be invited for holidays, although now she "has a man," she really won't need us - until he fucks her over - and I'm sure that will happen....and we will take her back and she will then proceed to walk all over us again.
Like one sister said - "she always plays the victim." She always has, and always will....
I just re-read this - thinking why I am posting this shit...blah blah....I need too. i'll likely delete it later, but I needed to write it. After 5 pm today, I'm am ridding myself of this negativity, and not looking back, because frankly, it isn't worth it.
2 comments:
sounds like it was a bad dream but you made it thru without killing anyone or causing a scene even though it sounds like you were not treated the way family should be treated at such times. give yourself some time to breathe and shake it all off.
yeah - she then calls tonight and leaves a message - she wants to talk to brad about cat problems....my heart was beating so fast....cause the cat is named sissy!! anway, then the other sister calls - i said sorry - everyone needs to call back in a week - so i can calm down and digest :-) Great advice.
Post a Comment