This week was really nice. I did some surveying. Felt like a young engineer and it felt great, although I'm sore from carrying the equipment. I don't give myself time to learn though. If I can't do something in a few seconds - I get irritable. Kind of nuttso really. Once I got the hang of things, man I felt powerful. Trust me, I am not doing anything that is all that difficult, but it takes practice. It is kind of like an art. You can tell when people have done it for awhile - they are seamless.
I could never teach. It is hard when lots of people gather around me... I have a weird social anxiety that puzzles the crap out of me. Something with audiory distriactions.
I started drawing again. THis time - drawing others peoples stuff than what is in my head. For some reason it feels like cheating but I think it may be a great way to inspire me. I am trying to work on a project that I don't think I'll finish in time... kind of pisses me off.
Going to drink today... been a week, actually I haven't touched much of it. it makes me way too emotional. We are going out for icecream for dinner tonight - we have a gift card.
I'm lonely.
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