Not sure what my life is suppose to be like.  All I want is for the people around me to be happy, as well as wanting my own happiness.  I find myself feeling guilty when I am happy.  Like this can't be right.  I must be getting something wrong. I don't think I am....  I think my anticipation of unhappiness makes me unhappy.  If that makes sense.

He called me at work - it was like a 5-year old at Christmas.  His dream tank came - he was so excited.  It was the same excitement as when I got my BMW.  It was refreshing - to see him like that.  I said "won't your folks go nuts."  He said my folks will think it is cool but that I went nuts, but that you were nuttier for letting it happen.  I think it is great that we are just going for it.... yeah - it was one of our dumb financial mistakes - we should be saving for...blah blah blah....he asked if I regret we did it.  I said hell no....what makes him happy - makes me happy...I smile typing that.

The tax guy will kill us if we end up pregnant - we laugh we will need to give him a gift basket....