Really?

Not sure why I celebrate x-mas - don't get the jesus thing - at least all the time. I was thinking about it when I walked out of my bedroom and into my great room and saw this enormous tree that i spent a day decorating - for what? It does make me feel good - reminds me of when i was a child. I had great christmas', my parents, despite fighting and bickering or generic gifts provided our family with such love and fun. it is why christmas is hard - without kids. but really - what does it mean.

my sister said a prayer to herself at thanksgiving - made me wonder why i couldn't say one at my own table.